When I first discovered my kinky side (many moons ago…), I felt deeply submissive. I didn’t think I had a dominant bone in my body. Indeed, when my lovers asked me to switch I would fill with panic. As a newbie, I didn’t have the confidence or experience to take control, even though I was curious.
It doesn’t help that there is often a feeling on the scene that if one is a switch, they aren’t a ‘true’ domme or sub. This could not be further from the truth, and it’s an assumption that has held so many back. For a while, I squashed my authoritative tendencies out of fear that dominant clients wouldn’t want to see me if they knew I batted for both teams!
Thankfully, darlings, the days of me caring much about whether my kinks are perceived as ‘authentic’ by strangers are over.
Since embracing my inner Domme, I have felt more fulfilled than ever – not only that, but I enjoy submission so much more having been present on both sides of the coin. I’ve learned deeply about what drives me as a submissive, and discovered in that process that my needs there have changed. I no longer enjoy harsh, derogatory treatment, far preferring to feel cherished and cared for (of which punishment, of course, is a part of). I want my Master to want the best for me, and to do anything necessary to teach me how to achieve that.
The same evolution has happened in my journey as a dominant. Not long ago, I enjoyed a session that was a first for me. A gentleman contacted me requesting a session of harsh, strict domestic service and punishment. Whilst I have indulged in domestic servitude games within sessions on many occasions, I had not yet had the opportunity to enjoy an entire booking of this.
In that one session, my desires had evolved once again. I hadn’t realised I had it in me to be quite that mean. Gone was the sensual, sadistic yet kind-hearted woman, and in her place stood a merciless bitch. I had never felt more powerful, more in my element than watching my house slave scrubbing the toilet bowl with a toothbrush, butt-plug in place, my heel at the back of his neck.
That’s not to say that sensual domination has stopped being a great love of mine. I am intuitively in tune to the needs of my submissive, and able to instinctively deliver a style of domination they sorely need. Whether I’m topping or bottoming, one thing remains constant – my desire to expand my horizons.
I am so hooked at this point that I have even considered phasing out submissive sessions, but then I remember – kink is an evolution. It is not fixed, it’s ever-changing, growing and blossoming, just like we are. Switching doesn’t make you ‘less’ of a domme, or a sub – it makes you flexible, experimental… and a whole lot of fun.
You know where to find me.