Dirty talk 101: Complete the following sentence: “Smack my…”

 

Did you go with ‘ass’ or ‘arse’? Arse is deliciously British, though some people prefer the more Americanised ‘ass’ – the short, sibilant ‘s’ being more reminiscent of the sound, perhaps. Or maybe it’s just habit. After all, with so much porn being produced in the States it’s no wonder we take on some of their language.

Today I want to talk in a bit more depth about language, so pull up a chair, lean closer, and let me whisper in your ear…

Dirty talk is often the thread that ties a truly excellent session together. Whispered commands, requests, even begging. Communication isn’t always verbal, but verbal communication can make the difference between getting something you enjoy and something that’s exactly what you want: a fantasy brought to rich and vivid life, with all the dialogue tailored to your taste.

The words people use during dirty talk matter so much, but it’s not often that we think of it. Usually it occurs to us in the negative – if someone uses a particular word that’s a turn off. It’s a bit like the ‘dogs versus cats’ debate – there are some sex words that you either love or hate. Pussy versus cunt – which do you go for? I tend to find that those who like ‘pussy’ will cringe at ‘cunt’ and vice versa. If you like both then congratulations – you’re quite rare! Likewise if you like the word ‘tits’ then you’ll probably be less keen on ‘boobs’ or ‘breasts’ – and vice versa. There are rarely words that are totally universal, although perhaps the closest of these is ‘fuck’ – if I’m telling someone that I’m going to fuck them so thoroughly they’ll be weeping when they cum, I’ve rarely been asked to refrain from the f-word in favour of something more coy.

Do you have a preference? I’d love you to tell me. You don’t have to give me the full script – I like to be creative. But hearing the words that turn you on is a nice sparking off point for my imagination. What would you like to call me? What would you like me to call you? That solid, throbbing ache between your legs: is it a prick, cock, dick? Are you a filthy boy? A slut? A pathetic little bitch?

Those last ones were a bit of a test, I’m cheeky like that. See, strong abuse is a bit of a loaded one when it comes to dirty talk. It may be the hottest thing in the world for you, and your sexual kick words (you know, the ones that kick you up a notch in the scale of horniness) may be ones that you’d never use in polite conversation. Such is the way of the world: often sex is one of the best ways to explore taboos that we’d never dream of breaking outside in the real world. It’s OK – we get to play with these things behind closed doors. But you have to let me know, as I have to let you know. See, words are as powerful (and sometimes even more so) than the things we do in bed. They have the power to bring someone down hard as well as boost them up. Some of the people I’ve played with have had very specific tastes – they want to either call or be called things like ‘slut’, ‘fat’, ‘bitch’, ‘whore’ – you get the picture. All you need to do is tell me.

Once we’ve got the words, and I know what you like to say and hear, then we can start using them in earnest (or anger, or whichever way best sets the tone). Personally I love a really sound telling-off: either giving one or receiving one. It’s the perfect way to enhance a power-play scene. In school, for instance, the punishment is going to sting so much more if the teacher has already dished out a tongue-lashing. Likewise in the office, squirming as you grip one edge of the boss’s desk, waiting for them to do their worst to your exposed bottom, hearing exactly the words that you long to hear in between strokes.

Perhaps one word per stroke:

You.

-smack-

Useless.

-smack-

Dirty.

-smack-

Boy.

-smack-

Mmm. Happy sigh.

 

So whether it’s a few key words or phrases that specifically turn you on, or a tirade of filth that you want poured into your ear (or to pour into mine, come to that), let’s talk dirty.

Let’s connect on the verbal level as well as the purely physical one, and swap stories on what makes each of us go ‘mmm.’

 

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