Beyond my usual repertoire of evening activities; dinner, cocktails, a little music, I like to frequent some of London’s exclusive sex parties. The thrill of being in a space surrounded by glorious bodies, all shapes, sizes and persuasions is electrifying, whether you are deep in the throng, or watching from the wayside. Some of these parties are louche, glamorous affairs; evocative of Roman orgies. Others are gritty and raw, a chance to explore and express yourself sexually with whatever kink or fetish drives you.

They are inspiring places to be; rooms decked out with whips, straps and dungeon furniture from chairs to swings; soft cushioned playrooms where dozens of naked people can explore each other freely; or maze like venues with dark corners conducive to anonymous, fleeting encounters. They often operate under-the-radar, known only to those who have let their desire lead them there.

I consider myself someone who is well versed in the minutiae of sexual experience, yet I still find my mind expanding when I attend these events. The chance (and privilege) to see first hand different people exhibiting themselves and sharing the ways they move, touch, interact and seek pleasure with others (or, sometimes, alone!), is as educational as it is exhilarating. I have learned much from these parties, and this learning never seems to stop.

When joined by a guest at one of these events, what I really love to do (once I’ve made them feel at home, of course), is to let them watch me play. I love the performance of group sex and knowing that a partner I’m with is there, viewing me in my element from the wayside and indulging as a voyeur, spurs me on like nothing else. Knowing that each act I perform feeds back into their own fantasy add another dimension to my own experience; I like to think about how their body is responding to mine touching another’s.

A particular game I like to play is to let them direct. I like to interrogate what my guest would like to see me do; do they want me embroiled between the legs of another woman? Do they want me to lay back while another man worships my feet? Do they want me to lie there and get spanked by a fearsome domme, catching their eye with each whip of the paddle? I love to discover these fantasies then make them happen live.

There’s an incredible power to be had in dictating the sexual experience of another person, before setting it in motion and this is a power I love to bestow in my favourite callers. It plays to the sub in me; I simply love being told what to do. And when you’re in a space packed with willing participants in the game of physical expression the possibilities are infinite.