Looking for lockdown sex tips from elite independent escorts in London?
In the first of a new series grappling with desire during lockdown, blonde kinkster and elite independent escort Lilly Watson considers ways to keep the home fires burning:
Perhaps it’s unsurprising that a global pandemic with a massive death rate leading to crashing economies and uncertain futures is a bit of a mood-killer when it comes to sex, but that doesn’t make a failing sex drive any less unpleasant, does it? Sex, which includes masturbation, should be relaxing and happy-making, so why aren’t we all doing more of it during lockdown, not less?
Well, it’s pretty difficult to stay present in the moment and enjoy your body when your mind is off in the future, worrying about everything from your health to your career to your elderly relatives to your… lack of a sex drive. Although I can personally vouch for the fact that intense stress can sometimes push a person from merely being highly sexual to exhibiting full-blown sex addiction patterns, for most people it seems to have the opposite effect. Ultimately, worrying about survival can push sex onto the back seat (and not in the literal, sexy way).
“Even though [sex] is viewed in our society as a frivolous recreational pursuit, it is anything but. Sex meets psychological and relational needs, and sexual satisfaction has been shown to boost mood, self-esteem and wellbeing.” – Dr Karen Gurney(1).
We could all do with having our mood, self-esteem and wellbeing boosted! Let’s get physical.
Much good sex starts with masturbation, but if even your favourite toys and porn bookmarks have lost their magic, there are other physical options to explore.
Self-massage with oil, traditionally raw sesame oil in the traditional Ayurvedic practice of abhyanga, is a pleasant and fragrant way to get back in touch with your own body and discover areas in which you are carrying tension. (Raw sesame oil has a light, nutty scent and is traditionally considered to have “warming” properties in Ayurveda.) I often find a surprising amount of tension in my feet, tummy and the area immediately under my sternum. If you don’t have raw sesame oil, coconut or even olive oil works too. Start with your feet and work upwards, then relax in a warm bath or shower to improve circulation of the blood, and therefore sensation, through every area of your skin.
Blood circulation is also easily improved with some light exercise, like going for a walk in the sunshine, or doing some yoga or weights. This can also help you sleep properly at night. Exhaustion or a stilted body clock is terrible for sex hormones. And speaking of sleep- if you are dreaming about your ex all the time while in lockdown, think twice before getting in touch with them. It’s likely intimacy and companionship that you miss, and with an absence of new partners, your subconscious might be rifling through its files looking for historical examples to fall back on. If so, these dreams will likely naturally ebb away by themselves when lockdown is over and you are able to meet kinky escorts in person once again.
Novelty is often cited as a way to jump-start sex drive, and there are many virtual options available during lockdown. What instantly appeals to you to explore- webcams, chat lines, homemade porn on websites like OnlyFans? These options have actually increased during lockdown with many of our own members and other elite London escorts making it their digital home for a while – so take a look. You don’t have to exclusively talk about sex over Skype or the phone; many providers are happy to just provide a listening ear and some welcome chit-chat to help with feelings of isolation. You may find that many share the same worries as you do, which can provide comfort and a sense of connection.
Perhaps this distancing from our usual lovers could help to actually improve our sexual relationships with them:
“Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel said, “Fire needs air,” meaning that desire requires space to thrive. Connection, after all, requires two beings who are separate.”(2)
This could be the most opportune moment you will ever have to get old-fashioned with courtships and spend more time chatting on the phone and getting to know her personality better via Twitter and her wishlist, easing loneliness now, sparking fantasies, and creating absolute fireworks when you finally meet in real life. Even if life is shit right now, try to focus on one thing that you are genuinely grateful for, just for a moment. For me, my wifi connection is definitely up there.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment- create the perfect moment. You may not experience spontaneous desire that appears out of nowhere, now or ever, but if you can identify what triggers your sexual desire, you can more easily create a lustful moment. You don’t have to wait around for one to happen on its own. Make honouring your sex drive part of your everyday: plan post-lockdown dates down to the last detail; experiment with virtual dating with independent companions during lockdown; change the experience of masturbation by doing it in different rooms, at different times of the day or night, while wearing gloves made of leather or satin or through a nylon stocking, while ordering Alexa to play different kinds of music.
What feels good? I ask myself this question every day.