Tighten those suspender belts and thwack *ahem* pack your rulers, it’s back to school for the kinky independent escorts of London. This term sees new students and returning reprobates; in this record kept by High Priestess of the Academy and House Mother Valentina Dellagravis, find out just who to look out for in the playground this year.

 

The iron gates of KLE Academy swing open with a groan, and the courtyard erupts in a flurry of stockings, skirts, and the faint scent of contraband perfume. The girls have returned from summer, and it shows. Post-holiday tans, mischievous grins, a rustle of silk under blazers. The air hums with anticipation — of classes, of trouble, of all the deliciously bad things already being planned.

 

 

Elle Voss strides in first, tall and statuesque, her golden-brown hair catching the autumn light. She’s barely crossed the courtyard before half the school is whispering: Head Girl, obviously. Her wit is sharper than her heels, and the way she surveys the others makes it clear she’s already plotting a term full of both order and mischief.

From a cab behind her tumbles Faye Farris, trunk far too big, face far too innocent for the twinkle in her eye. She’s countryside posh gone thoroughly to seed, the sort who’ll whisper filthy ideas at the back of assembly. “Don’t let the accent fool you,” Elle mutters to no one in particular. “She’s trouble.”

Scarlett May doesn’t even bother with assembly. The Australian is dragging a friend toward her suitcase, claiming she smuggled cocktails in with her lingerie. Her laugh cuts across the courtyard like a challenge: catch me if you can.

Inside the first classroom, order is already breaking down. Circe has claimed the window seat, auburn curls falling over inky shoulders as she sketches something vaguely Pre-Raphaelite instead of taking notes. The teacher drones, but Amelia Swann — redhead voluptuary and expert in all things decadent — has managed to replace her water bottle with champagne. She passes it down the row with an arched brow, teaching “Decadence 101” without a word.

Anastasia Fox blushes scarlet when asked to read aloud, eyes cast down, voice trembling as if every syllable is a plea for discipline. Zara Luxa, by contrast, cracks her whip against the desk when chatter grows too loud — and for a moment even the teacher obeys.

Recess in the courtyard brings chaos. Mistress Ae has already started an underground club by the picnic benches, sketching designs for latex uniforms with a grin. Sasha Bond runs impromptu PE drills on the lawn, bossing everyone into planks and laughing when they collapse. Audrey Astor, leaning against the library wall, flirts with both her lab partners, promising to mix science with seduction later. Saint hovers by the library doors, detaining the unlucky few with overdue books — though her whispered “rules” sound suspiciously like things one might enjoy breaking.

By afternoon, the bad girls are fully in charge. Cora Leigh corrals half the school into the old theatre for “drama rehearsal,” her script full of lines far filthier than Shakespeare would ever allow. Sunny Bonheur bursts in with her mischievous giggle, bratting her way into trouble before the first act is done. Khloé Karl insists they conjugate French verbs that sound less like grammar and more like seduction. When Poppy Quinn finally speaks, her voice silences the hall, lingering like velvet against skin, making everyone forget their lines. Detention comes early this term.

Bunny Harper, acting like a dorm matron, scolds those caught sneaking sweets under the sheets — though her laughter ruins the effect. Angelica Noi, the towering Goddess and untimetabled professor everyone whispers about smiles ands says, “sometimes it’s okay to break the rules,” as she glides past. Katie Dee, caught doodling cheeky comics in her exercise book, grins shamelessly as she’s marched in for detention. Eve Osyth leans against a chalkboard, penning verses on classmates’ wrists instead of paper.  The queue is getting longer. Anya Amasova takes charge of the detention itself, strict as any language mistress, forcing all to copy lines until their wrists ache.

As evening falls, the great hall fills with clipboards for extracurricular sign-ups. The first day of term ends as it always does: with flushed cheeks, secret notes tucked into stockings, and the sense that this school year will be far from ordinary…

Still hungry for knowledge? Take a history lesson and check out the original 2021 term sheet and, for extra credit, learn about the current KLE cohort to make your predictions who’s who in the next instalments of Valentina‘s Academy series.